Though never easy, some real estate transactions are far more simple than others. A basic purchase or sale of a family home is about as straightforward as it gets.
The more people involved or emotional the experience, the more challenging it becomes. That’s why estate sales are often the most difficult transactions by far. The average Will has multiple beneficiaries, each with an interest in the estate, and all who are grieving in different and often incompatible ways.
If you are the Executor of the Will, you may feel like you’ve stepped into a hornet’s nest at the best of times. If emotional tensions rise and fighting amongst family members begins, you may really feel out of your depth. In this post, we’ll do our best to help you to keep the peace as much as possible during this painful time.
It can seem that there are a million things to juggle all at once during an estate sale. Our Seller’s Checklist can keep you on track. Download your copy for free right here.
It’s Not Malicious (Usually)
There’s nothing worse than when family members argue over the deceased’s belongings. It makes it feel impossible to deal with an already difficult real estate transaction. It also really feels like an insult to your loved one’s memory. It hurts to imagine what they would think of seeing all the people they loved at each other’s throats!
The first step is to try to distance yourself emotionally from the situation. You may physically and intellectually be in the thick of the argument, but you can imagine an emotional shield around you. Hurt people say and do hurtful things. It doesn’t necessarily make it less painful, but at least it becomes understandable.
It can also help to remember that these fights are also not usually malicious. If they are, there’s a different story, and you’ll want to surround yourself with legal experts and counsellors who can step in to diffuse the situation. In most cases, family members are acting out while trying to process a loss that may still feel very raw.
Planning in advance can help any estate sale run more smoothly. The resources below can help you feel more prepared:
- Do You Need Power of Attorney for Peterborough Real Estate?
- What Are the Best Practices When Handling an Estate Sale?
- How to Sell a House for Someone Else
Focus on the Task at Hand
You may or may not be able to help others with their grieving process. If you can’t, it’s okay. Just remember that your task is to execute the Will in accordance with your loved one’s wishes to the best of your ability. It may feel overwhelming now, but the storm will pass.
No matter what, don’t hesitate to lean on others for support and guidance. Caring friends who are an arm’s length away from the situation can be a safe haven. In addition, a good estate lawyer and real estate agent can help you with the logistical aspects of the transaction.
Our Peterborough real estate team is here to help no matter what level of support you need. Learn more about our selling services right here.
Assess the Situation
Once you’ve got your own emotional state under control, you can view the situation more clearly to get an idea of what the conflict is really about. Is it about money? Or something else? We’ve all heard stories about a long-lost “relative” who no one has ever met or heard of who shows up to collect what they think they’re due. Fortunately, a well-drawn-up Will is not easy to contest. Malicious players might throw a wrench into the process, but they will not stop you from following your loved one’s instructions to the letter.
Among close family members, it’s important to remember that not everything your loved one owned had tangible value. Some items are sentimental, and will mean more to one person than another. These items can sometimes be more contentious than the actual financial assets. Whenever possible, it’s best to have the conversation about who gets what while your loved one is still alive and capable.
Otherwise, you will just have to do the best you can after the fact. Regular family meetings can help to keep everyone on the same page as much as possible. And again, most arguments don’t come from cruel intentions. Often, they can be misunderstandings. A simple conversation about what these small items mean to each family member can prevent many arguments from taking over.
Though more emotionally challenging, estate sales follow the same steps as other real estate transactions. The posts below can help ease you through the process.
- Selling a House in Peterborough From A to Z
- Beyond Staging: Adding the Most Value for the Least Effort
- What a Concierge Realtor® Can Do to Sell Your Home
Surround Yourself With Experts
If the fighting gets to be too much, you shouldn’t feel you need to shoulder the burden alone. Your job is to disperse the assets and settle the estate, not to provide family counselling or mediation. Part of performing your task to the best of your ability is to reach out for help when you need it.
Though the support of impartial loved ones is essential in getting you through this tough situation, you will need professional guidance at some point. Family issues aside, a real estate transaction is complex and involved. It’s your task to get the best results possible, and you can’t do it alone.
The house will need to be appraised, cleaned, decluttered, and crucial repairs may be necessary before it’s ready for the market. It doesn’t just take time, but each step must be carefully thought out in advance. A local real estate agent with experience in estate sales can take much of the burden off your shoulders.
As hard as things are right now, you may very well be the glue holding everyone else together. That’s why it’s important to prioritize your own well-being as you attend to the details of the Will and the sale of the family home. The ability to lean on compassionate experts can be your saving grace during one of life’s toughest challenges.
Do you have questions or need more guidance when dealing with an estate sale? Our experienced and caring Peterborough real estate agents are here for you. Reach out to us at 705-243-9797 or email team@jeffandkatie.ca to take the first step.
